Ye Gilde

Oasis of the White Palm
Not Finding the Princess

After meeting with the Sheik and later the younger of his twin sons, the group decided spend some time that night investigating the disappearance of the betrothed princess. They did a lot of legwork and almost instigated an incident at the Sandvoyager’s headquarters but didn’t end up any closer to cracking the case. There are several factions at play: Sheik vs Ruarindi, Skeik’s twin sons possibly against each other, and oasis dwellers that have returned to worshiping the old gods, and friction between the Sandvoyagers guild and the slaver caravans that may be moving slaves taken illegally.

So everyone returned to the sky ship were the revelers were winding down. When morning came, the Sheik was there to great them with his retinue. He brought guides and a storyteller. He hoped they would be able to free the djinni and then return and help with his problem.

Flying day and night, they estimated 3 whole days to arrive at what was left of Phoenix. They departed immediately and their journey was boring until the third night when on the last watch an efreeti rose off the desert floor and launched itself at them. The pilot dropped the ship down to the 10 ft level and they began trying to attack the approaching efreeti. Lucky for them it had started 600 feet away so they had some opportunity to try a few things. The conjured air elemental was annihilated instantly by a double shot of Scorching Rays however. A concerted effort led primarily by flying Egglantine and Iseret killed the efreeti before he could do any more damage.

It seemed like they came upon the efreeti as it discovered a stone dome peaking out of the sand. They had found the lost city of Phoenix.

XP: 1700

Pyramid Treasure is Never Cursed, is it?

When Skritek looks around from the floor, he can see that he is not alone. To one side was a hulking minotaur rising to its hooves and hefting a wicked ax, and to the other was a slight native woman flicking a scarf. She wiggles into a combat stance (you think that’s what it is) and you notice that she seems to have three boobs. Or maybe that is a trick of the light.

The fight commences while Enzo tries to figure out the trapdoor mechanism and the others run to join up. The minotaur fought bravely and delivered terrible wounds to Iseret and Skritek in turn. The two strangers ganged up on the bull man and killed it in spectacular fashion. Iseret’s bladed scarf crackled with fire and lightning and dripped almost as much blood as her wounds did. Skritek faired almost as bad. By then Egglantine was below the trapdoor hanging from a rope. Skritek climbed out, followed by Egg, and then their new friend, Iseret a Raurindi Scarf Dancer.

Egglantine provided some channels to heal their wounds while the others caught up. Iseret the Raurindi Scarf Dancer introduced herself to the group and they asked her questions. Skritek and Djelzeem climbed up on the statue to investigate the sparkling gem in the forehead of the Pharoah. There was illusion magic on the head and some sort of magical trap that Skritek disabled before prying out the gem. It turned out to be glass worth 1 copper. They decided to return upstairs and finish searching there.

The three unexplored rooms on the level above only gave up a heavy magic book which Orko took. There was nothing else of interest besides the water flowing from the hole in the ceiling. Skritek was first to figure out that it was a magical elevator. He answered the three questions and the water reversed its flow. He stepped into it and was whisked upward. The others did the same.

Each found themselves at one end of a 30 foot tunnel with bronze doors on the other end. The doors were loosely bound with a soft cotton rope. Above them in ancient hieroglyphics was written, “Thieves beware. Nothing inside will comfort you in old age.” There was no aura of magic or traps so they cut the rope and pushed open the doors.

There were three rooms beyond. Each had the aura of necromancy permeating the whole environment. It was the Pharoah’s tomb and filled with grave goods to take on his journey in the afterlife. There were many clay pots (uninvestigated but believed to be full of food and drink), expensive cloth, statues, all manner of valuable treasure, a chariot, and even a 70 foot river barge. The floor was decorated in a mosaic of the ancient land of Bakar showing the course of the River Athis and location of settlements. Amun-Re’s sarcophagus sat in the center of it all. The lid was heavy but slid off with some work. Inside were the mummified remains of the Pharoah in a gold mask holding a scepter and the Star of Mo-Pelar. Enzo and Orko snatched those two things up. Skritek lifted the mask and took the magic cloth eye covering.

There were other magic items in the rooms too – weapons and armor mostly but other miscellaneous magic including the 10×70 foot boat. There was a lot of discussion about what exactly they could and should take and whether there were any curses to worry about. Then they noticed Helsha filling her pockets. They didn’t spend much more time arguing. On a hunch they got on the boat and Enzo placed the star gem into a pedestal. The boat shifted and Enzo started working one of the rear rudders. The boat responded and he successfully piloted it out through a desert mural on the wall.

They didn’t know where to go next and looped around the pyramid spooking the locals, but discovering that the giant bowl at the foot of the temple was filled with water that spilled over into the sand-choaked channel. They had succeeded!

They headed off in the general direction they thought was downstream. After about a half hour they realized that they had left their caravan’s behind, so they dropped off Skritek and Egg. To make a long story short, they avoided the Raurindi that had been following the slow moving sky-boat and got the caravans moving. They all eventually met at the ruins of Pazar and the guides took them to the Oasis of the White Palm which had been part of the ancient country and still remained an important oasis in the desert. It was close and they were met by pegasus riding lancers that guided them the final little bit to the oasis and to the Sheik’s tent.

XP: 3,000 Enzo, Helsha, Orko
4,000 Those characters that didn’t steal from the Pharaoh’s tomb.

Pyramid of Amun-Re III
Munafik and the Fist of Fury

They almost slept peacefully. During the last watch a wraith floated out of the wall near Skritek and jammed his cold hand into the hobgoblin severely draining him. Half the group kept their distance and the other half tried to help. It was a spirited defense that took out the wraith but not before Djelzeem and Egglantine felt it’s chilling touch.

The party pressed it’s luck exploring numerous side passages and rooms before exiting the level buy climbing up out of the domed waterfall room and passing through some doors with a glowing warning into a 30×100 foot ascending stepped hallway the original architect dubbed “The Gauntlet”.

Ten foot wide stairs climbed the middle and on either side was ten feet of rushing water. There were three landings evenly splitting the long room and at the very top a large sculpture of a man-sized fist sat in front of the stairs. Sampson and Lulu Spider Climbed the back wall and everyone else started preparing for a fight in their own way.

Sampson and Lulu climbed across the ceiling. From there they could plainly see a dried up husk of a person in priestly clothes in a chair directly behind the fist statue. As the two of them passed the bottom step, they activated the magical trap. Two clay men stepped out of the alcoves on either side of the fist landing and ineptly threw spears. And so it began.

Each person to ascend the stairs brought out another pair of clay men. Orko told people that they could be split by a slashing weapon or crushed by a bludgeoning weapon but couldn’t be killed. Those with the skills tried to disable the magic trap while the better warriors ran up the steps and started pushing the clay men into the cascading water on either side. It was a good plan.

Meanwhile Sampson and Lulu continued climbing an activated the second trap, a wall of fire. They continued past and activated the third trap. I duplicate of Sampson and Lulu appeared but they couldn’t follow up the walls only shoot the occasional slingstone at Sampson. About this time the fist moved. It dropped to the floor and scrambled spiderlike up the wall clearly headed toward Sampson and Lulu. Sampson also reported that the dead guy in the seat seemed to be whispering and wriggling his fingers.

And so the gauntlet fight started. Poor Sampson and Lulu were left to fend for themselves against the fist and Munafik the former High Priest of Terbakar while a spiritual khopesh took swings at the young druid. The others cautiously advanced using the many rogues to disable the traps as they went. It was looking dismal for Sampson when he surrounded the priest with 3 summoned creatures and two of them were promptly annihilated by a Flame Strike.

Once the Wall of Fire was removed Munafik began wiggling his dried up fingers in their direction. And so the fight continued with the party slowing closing the distance between themselves and the top. Egglantine tired to Detect Evil on him and was stunned by his evilness. The high priest pointed at her and she aged into middle age. About this time the fist statue was finally destroyed and it turned to a pile of clay.

Munafik was heavily protected by spells but still took a lot of damage. They began to realize they weren’t really hurting him and recalling a verse found on a wall downstairs, they knew they would have to find his heart to kill him. They rushed the top platform and surrounded him. He tried and failed to turn into “dust form”.

Sampson led the rush through the two bronze doors behind Munafik. Skritek, Egg, and DJelzeem surrounded him. Orko trapped Munafik in a Pit with a small earth elemental. Now everyone followed Sampson.

There were a couple ways to go but the room containing the heart was quickly located. However it was guarded by a mummy that strode up and crushed Sampson’s skull with its fist. What’s with Sampson and fists? The mummy paralyzed half the people to see it with fear. The other half made quick work of the undead.

Skritek broke into the chained cabinet in the room while Orko warned them that Munafik was free. As the bronze doors opened and Munafik’s shadow could be seen on the floor, Enzo smashed the clay jar containing the heart and Munafik dropped to the floor. Victory.

There was some very quick healing courtesy of Egglantine’s channeling and some scrounging then Skritek and Enzo ran off after hearing about a room downstairs where earlier Egg and Sampson had found a huge statue with a big gem in it. They left the others rummaging the bodies and praying over Sampson.

Unfortunately Skritek and Enzo triggered a pit trap directly in front of the statue. Enzo dove to the side but Skritek fell 40 feet into the minotaur lair a level below.

XP: 4,000

Pyramid of Amun-Re II
Don't Split the Party

The androsphinx didn’t know the answer to Orko’s riddle and roared in frustration. He declared that nobody must find out about this and prepared to pounce. Orko was ready and Dimensional Slid into the hallway and moved into the rusty mist out of sight. Others rushed the door and then the angry sphinx roared again frightening half the group into running blindly out of the room. In the mist many of those people fell. Elspa wasn’t affected and moved into the doorway to heroically block the sphinx from entering the hall. The sphinx roared again and several of the adventurers were paralyzed with fear and deafened. Others continued running for their lives. Thus the group was split up and other denizens of the maze alerted to the presence of intruders.

Meanwhile Egglantine’s group had made up for starting a day behind and reached the ruins. After talking to Achmed and Wa’de, they rushed into the temple and then on to the pyramid. They successfully figured out the secret teleporter that transported Egg into the maze in an empty octagonal room. She heard the roars, sounds of hooves running passed the door to the north, and soon shouts, and the sounds of combat. She took off in that direction.

Three separate fights broke out. Sampson and the fear crazed Lulu, Orko, Enzo, and Djelzeem had rushed along until stopping at a closed door where 4 of the 5 were out of the mist. A pair of minotaurs had come up behind and the one in the lead was trading blows with Djelzeem in the blinding mist. Back at the last intersection, Elspa had rescued paralyzed Skritek and dragged the hobgoblin out of the mist and started fighting the second minotaur. When Skritek overcame his paralyzation he got up and ran off into another direction eventually opening a door to a room with 3 desert elves that began chasing him.

A fourth fight started when the door to their backs opened and 9 desert garbed humans began launching arrows and slashing with scimitars into Sampson, Lulu, and Enzo. Djelzeem and the minotaur were still swinging at each other blindly in the mist and sometimes connecting. Elspa and the second minotaur were battling back at the intersection. Egglantine and Skritek met in the hall and talked down the pursuing elves but then were joined from behind by another minotaur. That became fight five.

Fortunately the Orisani in the room were not a match for their adversaries. Orko popped in and began burning them. Sampson cast Flame Blade and followed frightened Lulu inside slashing at the desert people. Enzo and Djelzeem began backing into the room. Poor Enzo took a wicked hits from the minotaur’s battle ax and gore attacks. Elspa was cut down the in hallway and beheaded by the other minotaur. Skritek and Egg were locked in a deadly struggle with the third minotaur while the elves watched. Unbeknown to them, another of Egg’s adventuring comrades had joined but was staying hidden while waiting for her opportunity.

Back in the room of Osiriani, the adventurers consolidated their position. Orko created first one pit inside the room then another to catch the minotaur. The others fought hand to hand. Orko used some of list last magic to kill the pair fighting with Djelzeem and Sampson. The minotaur that killed Elspa wandered through the mist toward the fight and fell into the conjured pit in the hallway. The last two Osiriani at first wanted to work together against the minotaur but then the leader grabbed Orko and tried to barter with his life. Djelzeem stepped up and bashed the skull of his remaining follower with his light mace.

Egglantine and Skritek finished off their minotaur but then the elves turned on them. They walked up to the paladin and their faces changed into copies of hers. They they dropped their weapons and instead slashed her with their claws. Helspa moved invisibly through the area observing and Skritek stepped up to fight his original foes. Egg managed to trip one of the dopplegangers before going down in a flurry of bloody claws. Helspa started firing arrows into the fight and Skritek cut down one then another doppleganger. The last one died about the same time as the Osiriani leader perished back in the room.

The last magic pit disappeared and freed the remaining wounded minotaur. The other had been killed by a summoned giant ant before it had been killed. The minotaur hacked Djelzeem before retreating. It was chased down and caught by Lulu, Sampson, and Djelzeem in the intersection where Elspa died. It hit the ground and was beheaded by Sampson with his Flame Blade as a partially healed Egg and Skritek arrived. The fighting was over for the moment and they quickly looted the bodies before coming up with a plan to pass the sphinx.

Sampson and Egglantine went back to the sphinx to barter for passage back through the room and into the water passage. It took a little convincing but after providing the large creature with some fresh meat and some stories, it let them pass and they climbed or were hauled up a level and into the illuminated tropical room where Sampson ran from the fruit flies.

There they caught and ate a few of the fruit flies which did indeed give them a temporary strength and dexterity bonus. They explored the room finding two secret doors in alcoves, gathered some fresh food, and peaked into the next domed room from which the water issued from a giant stone lion head. Being pretty ragged, the group decided to rest there before stretching themselves too thin. They set up camp for the night.

XP: 2,287

Pyramid of Amun-Re
To Rob a Tomb and Lift the Curse

A few days of research revealed a lot. There was much rumor of course but also some fairly reliable information on the ancient nation state of Bakar. It seemed they had two missions. First, after releasing Kalitharius, they were honor bound to find and release his rival, the Djinn Vizier Aeraldoth, held in Phoenix for just this occasion. Second, they needed bring water back to the desert by lifting the ancient curse on Amun-Re. That required them to steal his staff of rulership and a star gem from his theft-proof tomb. The former was more important but the location of Phoenix remained unknown so they decided to travel to Amun-Re’s pyramid first. Their main concern were the notes they found in Q’dan’s third warehouse that indicated that the pyramid complex now hosted a group of Raurindi. The Raurindi were the descendants of the people of Bakar and were known to be hot tempered and not disposed to foreigners. They also protected the old ways including tombs and holy places of the old Gods of Ancient Osirion. Violators are subject to “Bloodquest”.

They used the previously contracted guides Achmed and Wa’de to manage the small caravan. Sampson led the group with maps they had created and Q’dan’s notes. Skritek helped guide but nobody put much stock in what the hobgoblin had to say. Djelzeem, Enzo, Orko, and the dwarf Elspa rounded out the group.

Back in Ipec, Egg met with her personal trainer Chad. She was resolute and didn’t allow herself to be pressured into a yearly membership even if this was the “last day for the special rate”. With her trial membership started and personal evaluation by Chad complete, she found a small group of adventure-seekers headed to the recently discovered pyramid in the desert hoping to catch up to the others.

They made good time on the five day trip through the Parched Dunes and only had one mishap when six sandmen elemental creatures popped into their camp one night and started pummeling people and putting them to sleep. If not for the timely intervention of Orko’s summoned gorilla there might not have been any survivors.

When their caravan reached the pyramid they found Q’dan’s sketches to be accurate and that there were some Raurindi camped out. There was also was appeared to be a caravan from Ipec sheltered within the ruined walls of a city building. The humans decided to approach the caravan and see what was up while the others remained out of sight.

Sampson did the talking with the two guards posted at the entrance to the tumbled down building. They weren’t very talkative and seemed to think Sampson might be lost or need some help. In the end they indicated that Sampson should just walk over to the small temple in the wall around the pyramid if he had questions about the temple and the Raurindi.

With some trepidation they approached the Raurindi guarding the temple in front of the pyramid. They passed a sand choked channel that led to a large dry basin. Then they hiked up the curved stairs to the front doors. Djelzeem did the talking. The guards wore fancy four mirror armor with conical helmets and bucklers. They were armed with shiny khopeshes. They wanted to know what brought Djelzeem and Sampson to this holy place. Djelzeem told them that he also worshiped the Old Gods and they wanted to visit the temple. The guards opened the doors and let them pass. Djelzeem told them they might have some friends coming along.

Djelzeem and Sampson were in a large dark hallway facing another giant set of doors. They pulled them open and entered a large room with statues and five Raurindi in breastplates and another dressed like those outside but also wearing a tunic with the Eye of Horus and holding a large white book. Outside, their companions rushed to catch up, leaving Achmed and Wa’de to watch the animals and supplies.

These Raurindi were also formal and polite and answered some questions about the Gods. By then the others had joined and Orko proved to know quite a lot about the old pantheon. Their leader was impressed but also mistook Lulu the sheep for a sacrifice. He had four of his men escort them out the back of the temple and told them to cross the courtyard and ascend the stairs into the pyramid. There they would find a place to make sacrifice.

Once inside the cool inviting interior they began searching the rather large room carefully for secret doors while Orko snuck down a side hall were he heard murmuring. Orko’s investigation revealed a 30×30 room with a statue of a Pharaoh. It was filled with worshipping Raurindi and a priestly character on a stair tossing what appeared to be an animal part into a fiery brazier. The flames shot high in response. He got the impression that the priest might have noticed him so he acted nonchalant like he wasn’t trying to spy and watched for a little more before leaving.

In the main room, they had found a secret door behind a large statue. After figuring how to swing it open they disappeared inside and closed it behind them. Then began a lengthy exploration of numerous rooms and hallways and even a couple of big water-filled shafts. It appeared to be a plundered tomb but they decided it was a fake decoy tomb complete with an empty Pharaoh’s sarcophagus. After re-searching the tomb with a Detect Secret Door they decided to continue exploring via the sluiceway dumping water into the shaft.

Using Spider Climb, Sampson investigated the large diameter pipe supplying water to one of the shafts. He was able to climb all the way up the pipe where he found a side passage with a trapdoor and a tall vertical shaft where the water thundered down from above. He stuck his head up the trapdoor and was surprised to smell animal. The 30×30 room was the lair of a 12 foot tall, 1,000 pound regal, bird-winged lion with a human’s head, clad in the golden raiment of a powerful pharaoh. The beast wanted to play a game of riddles and gobble up the shepherd should he lose. After getting licked, Sampson excused himself and climbed up the vertical shaft. After 35 wet feet, he exited into a hallway with a narrow walkway on one side and a channel of fast moving water on the other. Following that, he could see a large, well lit room filled with tropical plants. There was even a huge bowl of fruit but as he approached the fruit turned out to be a type of fly with a fruit-like camouflage. He didn’t recognize the species of “fruit flies” when they flew out of the bowl in a big cloud. He ran away.

When Sampson realized that he wasn’t being swarmed, he returned. The fruit flies were buzzing around the treetops mostly. Occasionally one would land back in the bowl and rest. He asked Orko’s summoned lantern archon to search ahead to find the source of the water and then he turned around and descended to the rest of the group. The lantern archon very quickly passed him on the way down. The water came out of a lion’s mouth, it said.

With Sampson’s report the six felt that struggling up the sluiceway was the way to go. With Spider Climb, Fly, and a rope the six of them made it into and up the slick 500 ft tube. The water level appeared to be lower than in the past otherwise it would not have been possible at all and even now it was only possible with magical assistance. They grouped up in the shallow pool where the shaft became visible. Orko was very excited to play the riddle game with the sphinx so he crawled up through the trapdoor and started a conversation with the creature.

The man-headed sphinx was delighted to hear the “little mouse in his house” speak the language of the sphinxes. He also wanted to play riddles with Orko but Orko didn’t like the stakes. He didn’t want to risk getting eaten just to be able to ask a question. He proposed his tasty body for three of the sphinx’s body parts which he figured were rare magical components. The sphinx agreed and moved off the trapdoor to let Orko bring up one of his friends to help. The rest of the group filed into the room too. Most of them took a position near the only door out of the room (which opened into a mist-filled hallway).

The sphinx asked his riddle. Orko and Enzo didn’t know the answer. The sphinx was growing impatient as the minutes passed. Minutes turned into tens of minutes and the sphinx wanted an answer but they didn’t have one. The sphinx padded up to Enzo and gave him a sniff and a lick. Suddenly out of nowhere the answer came to them (they rolled for it) and the sphinx was very disappointed. Then Orko excitedly demanded the sphinx’s mane, wings, and tongue. The sphinx angrily told him that isn’t how the game is played and demanded they ask him a riddle. Orko did and the sphinx began to ponder.

XP: 3,000 (this is 1000 more than given out at the game) +500 to Sampson (I did double check the XP given out at the session and it was 2,000 not 1,500)

Sunken City of Pazar
There wasn't anything down there, certainly not a Noble Efreet

The group now including Uth and A.P.I.S. treks across the desert, lost at first, and finds a wandering dwarf separated from her scattered caravan. They brave numerous natural hazards including a “Shaitan storm” that scoured the flesh from their conjured camel while they hid in portable holes.

One night they encountered the spirit of a long forgotten Pharaoh named Amun-Re. He beseeched them to plunder his tomb for that was the only way to break a curse and let his contrite spirit pass on to the Land of the Dead. The spirit pointed the way before fading away. The story was met with mixed reactions and ultimately the group decided they couldn’t break into the unplunderable tomb in their current state so they would continue back to Ipec as planned. Each night Amun-Re returned to point them in the direction he wanted them to go and each night they tried to tell him that they would come back.

Though they skipped Amun-Re’s pyramid, Fate led them to the sunken city of Pazar. It was marked by a minaret jutting through the sand and a large statue with a tablet describing the sad demise of Pazar. They climbed up into then descended down the tight staircase in the minaret. Skritek needed to hack through some giant scorpions with a little assistance from Egglantine. The cool darkness was pleasant and inviting. Uth and APIS watched their backs from the top of the minaret.

The group left the stairs and began exploring a large porch. The roof was held aloft by numerous columns and a huge slope of sand spilled in from the outside entrance. The walls had some drawings and hieroglyphics preserved on them that Djelzeem spent time examining with interest. Two large bronze doors stood partially open and after dispatching a giant centipede the group peeked into the 20×20 room beyond. All seemed quiet.

There wasn’t much left to explore. The found a set of large golden doors with some magical hieroglyphs that Orko mistranslated as “No entry. Treasure inside.” They almost couldn’t enter until finding some clues written on a broken tablet in a scroll room. The with a wave of the hand and a passphrase, the doors opened. Orko’s little Lantern Archon was flash frozen by a trap inside but again consulting the tablet allowed the group to bypass the three deadly traps and arrive at an altar with a giant pulsing star gem.

The gem was seized, releasing an imprisoned Efreet noble. They attempted to trap him inside while still in evil mist form but he transformed and flew past them to the patio. He announced himself as Kalitharius, Efreet Pasha, Vizier to the Fire Sultan. He said that he would spare their lives in order that they might spread the word of his release and plans to lay waste to all civilization. Then he shimmered away.

With that, everyone quietly climbed back out of the minaret. When Uth and APIS asked what they found, they replied “Nothing”.

Compared to that misadventure the next several days hiking back to Ipec was easy and without incident.

260 xp Uth and Apis

1660 xp Everyone else

Shares of group loot:
542 gp
13 sp
7 cp

The group made it back to town (even finding a lost camel along the way) and spent 3 days later taking care of stuff in the city. The group then started doing research on stuff they learned and even hiriing some sages to help.

Sand - Aftermath

In preparation for your trek across the desert, a few details to ensure your survival (all of this is subject to Glenn’s GM approval if he’s taking over!)

Starvation and Thirst

Characters might find themselves without food or water and with no means to obtain them. In normal climates, Medium characters need at least a gallon of fluids and about a pound of decent food per day to avoid starvation. (Small characters need half as much.) In very hot climates, characters need two or three times as much water to avoid dehydration. ** The way I was running this, if you were riding, you weren’t subject to the additional water required in a hot climate.

A character can go without water for 1 day plus a number of hours equal to his Constitution score. After this time, the character must make a Constitution check each hour (DC 10, +1 for each previous check) or take 1d6 points of nonlethal damage. Characters that take an amount of nonlethal damage equal to their total hit points begin to take lethal damage instead.

A character can go without food for 3 days, in growing discomfort. After this time, the character must make a Constitution check each day (DC 10, +1 for each previous check) or take 1d6 points of nonlethal damage. Characters that take an amount of nonlethal damage equal to their total hit points begin to take lethal damage instead.

Characters who have taken nonlethal damage from lack of food or water are fatigued. Nonlethal damage from thirst or starvation cannot be recovered until the character gets food or water, as needed—not even magic that restores hit points heals this damage.

In supplies at the campsite you have the following to choose from:

• 90 days of trail rations (enough for 10 people for 9 days). Each day of rations weighs 1lb.
• 90 gallons of water of in twenty 5-gallon kegs (enough for 10 people for 9 days). Each keg weighs 40lbs.
• Five 1-gallon kegs of ale and five 1-gallon kegs of wine. Each keg weighs 8lbs.
• Twenty ½-gallon waterskins/canteens. Each weights 4lbs when filled with water or 1lb empty.
• There are 20 hot weather outfits for covering your body from head to foot in light, airy cloth keeps you cooler than baring your skin to the sun. This outfit typically consists of a loose linen robe and either a turban or loose head covering and veil. The outfit provides a +2 bonus on Fortitude saves to resist warm or hot weather. This does not stack with any bonuses gained from the Survival skill. The book has this “light, airy cloth” weighing 4lbs, but I disagree and think they should be 1lb (2x the weight of a patchwork cloak). These can be worn over light or medium armor and remain effective.
• 1000 feet of normal rope in 50-foot lengths (20) (10lbs each)
• 2 grappling hooks (4lbs each)
• 1 sand anchor (8lbs) – large grappling hook for use in the sand
• An area map (see attached).
• 10 masterwork backpacks (4lbs each, effective Str +1 for encumbrance)
• 10 bedrolls (5lbs each)
• 10 blankets (3lbs each)
• 10 cots (30lbs each)
• 5 bullseye lanterns (3lbs each) and 20 flasks of oil (1lb each)
• 20 candles
• 2 cooking kits (16lbs each)
• 2 crowbars (5lbs each)
• 9 days of fire wood (20lbs each)
• 1 hourglass (1 hour) (1lb)
• 10 iron spikes and 10 pitons (1lb each)
• 20 sheets of parchment and 10 sheets of paper
• 10 sacks (1/2lb each)
• 2 common shovels (8lbs each) and 2 folding shovels (10lbs each)
• 1 sledge (10lbs)
• 2 balls of twine (1/2lb each)
• 2 masterwork survival kits (5lbs each)
• 1 pavilion tent (50lbs)
• 20 torches (1lb each)
• 2 wire saws
• Artisans tools (5lbs)
• 2 climbers kits (5lbs each)
• Mapmakers kit (2lbs)

We Be Goblins, Too!
Welcome to the Birdcrunchers

We be goblins! We crunch birds!
Snip off legs and cut in thirds!
Catch the turkey! Snatch the rook!
Pluck the feathers—make them cook!

Roast them drumsticks, boil them eyes!
Mash guts gummy for bird pies!
Once it all is well and chewed,
We still hungry—YOU be food!

Part 1: Welcome to the Birdcrunchers

Snert, Cha-cha, and Grell returned to Brinestump Marsh after their adventures in Magnimar expecting feasting and entertainment for their escapades – at the very least, some Zarongel-damned slug slop. What they found were the husks of their homes, the corpses of their friends and family, and the smell of man stinking up the joint. Anything of value has been taken and everything else burned – they even pushed through the baby cages rattling with tiny charred skeletons and realized with horror – the bastards even took Squealy Nord!

While they were discussing what had happened, another Licktoad goblin popped out from a hiding place amid the wreckage; he was recognized as Punk, and he seemed to know a lot about how the village had burned. Like an awful lot. Almost like he’d had first-hand experience. Weird

Anyway, they vowed their revenge… but first, they were hungry. They decided to travel to the closest tribe of goblins they knew about – the Birdcrunchers. Maybe they’d have room – and grub – for some intrepid adventurers.

Once they arrived in Birdcruncher territory, they were told the Birdcrunchers were “between chiefs,” but Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh had the authority to declare a joining moot to see if the newcomers were worthy of joining the Birdcruncher tribe and eating their food. The moot consisted of three dares, and the participants were given points for their performance in each.

For the first dare, they were blindfolded and given a short bow with three arrows each. Three flocks of seagulls were released, each farther from the last, and the Lickoads were tasked with shooting down as many as they could – of course, the further the bird, the more points it was worth. Grell quickly took the lead after a poorly-aimed arrow hit Punk standing near him instead of a bird! The Birdcrunchers really appreciate a good sense of humor. However, Punk, despite missing both previous shots, got his own back after shooting an arrow that skewered three seagulls, which then landed gently in the hands of the cook in charge of the seagull stew! Miraculous!

The second dare brought them to an swampy area of nasty standing water. A failed attempt by the Birdcrunchers to build a bunch of huts on stilts left behind a haphazard arrangement of wobbly posts protruding from the boggy ground. The Birdcrunchers had laid wooden planks across them, creating narrow bridges. A single stirge on a five-foot-long tether is tied to each of the posts.

The Licktoads were all outfitted with wide clumsy longstalker boots which inhibited their dexterity and movement and told to kill as many stirges as possible through any means at hand – although stomping is the preferred method. Grell immediately jumped onto the bridges while the others preferred to use their ranged attacks to kill the stirges. Cha-cha took advantage of Grell by finishing off each stirge with her musket that Grell’s jaws failed to kill. Punk began setting alight the tethers tying the stirges to the poles, allowing them to fly free and attack the nearest targets – usually Grell. As Grell fought off the stirges, a shoving match began between the three other goblins as each tried to push the others into the swamp to disqualify them from the competition; none came even close to succeeding. The dare ended more with a whimper than a bang, as the Birdcrunchers had grown bored of watching the three weakling on shore impotently push at each other.

The third dare saw everyone returning to the Birdcruncher cave. As the goblins approached, the smell of rotten meat and spoiled milk grew. The source of the intoxicating smell was a pie had been created in a 10-foot-diameter bowl-shaped depression in the rock. It is 18 inches deep of not-quite-boiling-hot slurry of spoiled milk, swamp water, crushed grass, and dead birds. Several goblins standing near the pie startled as you approached and quickly pulled up their breeches. Probably nothing.


Sprattleharsh explained the rules – each Licktoad will be tied up and placed in the pie to cook. The first goblin to make it out would earn 10 points, the second 5, and the third 3. Any other contestants would earn only shame.

“Now here’s the twist!” she explained as the four participants are lined up around the edge of the pie with their wrists and ankles tied together. “There are four golden eagles in the pie, too! Killing an eagle earns you five points. Good luck!”

Inside the pie, Cha-cha, Snert, and Punk took fire damage as they struggled to escape their very tight bonds. Grell, however, used his oversized teeth to immediately bite into his bonds; he began killing every eagle he saw. Snert was the next to escape, but Cha-cha tripped him before he could emerge from the pie, and he fell face-first back into the boiling foulness. Cha-cha then broke her bonds and emerged first, followed by Punk, and finally Snert. Grell popped up last, feathers bristling in his teeth and triumphantly holding four dead eagles in his hands.

Mummy Sprattleharsh collected the point tallies from the participants. Shockingly, given his utterly forgettable lackluster performance at every dare, Snert was the winner! No one could remember giving him as many points as he claimed to have, but then it had been a very long day, maybe they’d forgotten Besides – that delicious eagle pie was gonna get cold! Snert was presented with the Crunchy Crown, a beautiful headpiece made of bird bones, feathers, and twigs, and given the title “the Crunchy.”

After he was crowned, Mummy Sprattleharsh waddled up and grasped each of your hands eagerly. “Welcome to the Birdcrunchers tribe,” she says, handing each of you a small bird in a box. “Thank Zarongel that you and your brave companions have come forth. Now we FINALLY have someone to kill that ogre druid and his fire-breathing armored boars that have been pestering us lately!” The Birdcrunchers all cheer.

Part 2: Munchmeat Farm

The newly-initiated Birdcrunchers were given a crudely-drawn map, showing that the ogre druid – Pa Munchmeat – lives about two-thirds of a mile from the Birdcruncher village. It wil take an hour on foot through the trackless tors. As you head off, Mummy Sprattleharsh waves and shouts, “Good luck! If you don’t get him, don’t bother coming back!”

The quartet make it about halfway to Munchmeat Farm before they see the first sign of the druid. Out of a huckleberry patch across the field comes roaring a huge hairy boar, foul-tempered and armored, with smoke and flame licking around its yellow tusks. It charges across to attack.

The boar made a couple good passes, goring goblins along the way, before it turned and let loose a foul-smelling belch – a fifteen-foot cone of fire came blazing out from its jaws, scorching everyone in its path. But then the tides turned and the boar was shot, beaten, and bitten to death.

A bit further on, the Birdcrunchers found Munchmeat Farm slumped in a soggy valley. A fence surrounded the estate with a house in the center balanced on numerous thick log stilts. There were a few filthy chicken coops, a shed, a few tired stretches of garden, and an upturned boat propped against the fence that looked as though it’d been built into a shelter. The Birdcrunchers immediately split up.

Cha-cha climbed a tree to look out while Punk explored the upturned boat. In its entrance, a fat sow snores loudly. However, peeking around her bulk, Punk sees someone familiar in the darkness of the boat – none other than the fearsome and savage fiend that once lived with you in the Licktoad village: Sqealy Nord!!

Cha-cha and Punk quickly exchanged some hand signals, after which Cha-cha took aim and blasted a massive hole in the sow’s skull. One more shot put her down for good, and Punk was able to lead Squealy Nord to freedom.

Meanwhile, Snert used a Monkeyfish spell to swim his way along the stream that cut through the farm. After following it to the house in the center, he peered in between the stilts that supported the house. Unfortunately for him, the druid was housing an owlbear in a nest underneath there. The owlbear roared at the trespasser and very nearly killed Snert. He was rescued by Grell, who was nearby, and Punk, who had been leading Squealy Nord over to his fellow Birdcrunchers. Digging through the owlbear’s nest, they discovered six owlbear eggs and promptly put them into their packs. Punk attempted to set the nest on fire, but found that the damp straw was stubborn about burning.

Cha-cha, meanwhile, had climbed on the roof of the house. She discovered a couple of territorial vultures nesting there, but after blowing one to feathers, the other remembered it had pressing business elsewhere. Scrabbling around, she noticed a trapdoor covered in droppings and opened it –

Only to be hit in the face with a swarm of bats! Cleverly, Cha-cha jumped through the trapdoor down into the room where the caster – Pa Munchmeat – must be. Pa Munchmeat was small for an ogre… although he still toweed over Cha-cha at nine feet tall. He wore hide armor made from distinctive firepelt cougar pelts, and his face was concealed by an elk skull converted into a mask and helm. In his hands, he held a medium-sized spear that flickered with flame.

The swarm followed her and took notice of the bigger target, attacking Munchmeat himself in the cramped space. In response, Munchmeat cast a flaming sphere and directed it at Cha-cha.

Hearing combat, the rest of the goblins clambered up the house. Pa Munchmeat held his own against the attacks, but a far deadlier foe was the structure itself. Despite the various handholds and slanted surfaces, both Grell and Punk fell to their deaths.

By this time, Pa Munchmeat had summoned his ogrekin daughter and her pet ferret, but the two surviving goblins, Cha-cha and Snert, were already turning tail. Guffy Munchmeat said something in Giant and pointed one muscular arm at Snert’s bulbous head as he ran. The last thing the two surviving Birdcrunchers heard was Squealy Nord’s almost human-like cry as his saviors left without him.

Basic Bitches V
The Adventure Concludes with a Roper!

After more wandering, the six stumbled across a fire beetle illuminated chamber. There were two creatures talking. One was Ninguable, the 9 ft tall, plumb robed humanoid with seven glowing eyes, and the other was a man-sized humanoid in a robe with darkness under the cowl. Gary exclaimed that he knew them and ran ahead to talk to Sheelba. Sheelba was the one that had sent him on an errand so long ago. The others approach Ninguable and began questioning him for the way home.

Ninguable basically told them they were adventurers and adventurers always find a way. He pointed to the other side of the room and told them to go that way. Meanwhile Sheelba led Gary away and returned without him explaining that she sent him on his way home. Ninguable was busy with Sheelba at the moment but thought that he might like to visit there world sometime. Not getting anywhere with those two the party of five exited in the direction pointed by Ninguable.

That led to another large chamber filled with mating fire beetles. They attempted to creep through but disturbed the horny vermin. Four of the beetles moved in to attack after flashing their abdomens. Pugno held them off while the everyone slowly ran to safety. The beetles continued flashing and dazed most of them. The group ran down the hall and in their dazed state, separated into two parallel tunnels. They could still occasionally talk through holes in the stone but when Pugno, Shokkanaw, and Shivs entered an oblong chamber and spotted a goblin and hobgoblin.

Knowing they were spotted the hobgoblin gave the order to attack. Nine goblins popped up and shot arrows scoring a few hits. Pugno, Shok, and Shivs charged up the rock pile and attacked the poor little goblins. They cut down all eleven and the hobgoblin leader before Afarrah, Tiffany, and Weiss showed up.

The five of them now took a 5’ tunnel out of the ambush room. That led to a long wedge shaped and stalagmite filled room overlooked by 3 openings in the far wall. Each of the openings contained a goblin with a shortbow with a hobgoblin standing behind. The 3 goblins shot and missed Pugno as the party moved into the room. Pugno and Shok ran to the far side of the room close to one of the openings. The others moved up halfway. Weiss took out the middle goblin with a well placed arrow. Then a stalagmite in the center of the room shot out 6 sticky tentacles at everyone except Pugno who was out of range. The tentacles sapped the strength of everyone they grabbed (which was everone except Pugno) and began pulling them closer. Tiffany was already standing right next to it, so the creature opened its maw and took a bite out of her. In the back of the room Weiss collapsed under her own weight.

Afarrah’s scimitar severed the strand grabbing her. Shivs tried to do the same but failed. Pugno ran back to the creature nobody could identify and punched it. He could only hit once but seemed to damage it with his fists. Shokkanaw charged and lopped off the tentacle grabbing him at the halfway point. The goblins kept shooting and missing with their arrows. The roper was not at all pleased with the tentacle amputations. It grabbed Afarrah again but missed Pugno and pumped fluids into the people it still held. Tiffany and Weiss turned to stone.

Pugno responded with his blade and cut off three tentacles. Now freed, Shok tried and failed to stab the main body. Shivs and Afarrah grew weaker but Tiffany recovered. She still looked gray but she was moving again. She told the stupid sweater monkeys to stop attacking her friend and cast Blistering Invective burning her allies. Shivs caught on fire. The roper again pumped fluid into the people it held and this time Afarrah turned to stone. Weiss recovered then too and started dragging herself back to the group while telling them to leave the creature alone.

Pugno severed another tentacle leaving just one full length and one 5 foot tentacle. Shivs tried and failed to sever another while he burned. Tiffany moved up to protect the monster. The creature lifted up on stumpy legs and stepped out of the circle of its attackers. Weiss crawled 5 feet closer pleading to spare the roper.

The last tentacles were chopped off and continued stepping to the wall trying to escape while Tiffany and Afarrah cured it. First Pugno almost killed it then Shok but the two ladies continued pumping cures into it. When it finally died, Tiffany, Afarrah, and Weiss became confused and lost control. They began attacking themselves or others. Pugno punched out the cheerleader but Shivs went for the sneak attack with her magic shortsword. Shok ran up to the prone Weiss and said, “Look Master”, and tried to punch her out like Pugno did to Tiffany. She didn’t and Weiss reverted to her natural form and tried to bite Shok. Tiffany and Shivs fought and Shok and Weiss (really not much of a fight with Weiss at 1 Str and not able to stand while the half orc pummeled her face) fought only briefly before the cleric and fox woman snapped out of it. Traumatically weakened the group took a breather and took Afarrah’s healing.

The goblins were long gone by this point and had lowered grates over the openings. Pugno pulled one up and entered to find a ceremonial room and some passages but nothing else. The five survivors went back to the goblin ambush room and took the other narrow passage. After some unknown time staggering around they noticed that the natural stone had given way to masonry. They appeared to be back in the sewers beneath Absalom.

Before exiting the sewers, they met another group of four adventurers exploring. The leader was a tiefling in silvery breastplate, shield, longsword, and tiny beat up bronze crown. He introduced himself as Lord Vincenze and the others as Lady Drenica, Mittens, and Pythia. He asked them about a friend they had in the Guild, Legertha. He seemed disappointed to learn she and others had left on a quest and hadn’t returned. The groups went on their way.

Sometime after exiting into the city they realized less time had passed here and Pugno was missing all six doses of his vermin repellent. But at least they were finally back home and quite a bit richer.

2,006 Pugno, Shok, Shivs
1,117 Afarrah, Tiffany, Weiss

Basic Bitches IV
The Minotaur Caves

Shivs approached the fallen cleric and cast Speak with Dead. They used their three questions to ask where they could find the medusa’s elixir, where the minotaur cave was, and about the altar portal back to their world. They received some unclear answers in return. The began following the “right wall” which would lead them to the elixir. It took them deeper into the complex.

They arrived at the Temple of Chaos. It was only partially illuminated by Afarrah’s glowing shield. They could see a high vaulted ceiling, walls covered by tabestries, a giant bell in a wooden chassis, pews, candelabras and near them a door. As they entered the room the candleabras lit up with large flames. At the opposite end of the room were 4 bone chairs and a central ivory throne facing three altars of stone. The northernmost was black with flecks of red, the middle was mixed veins of black and red, and the last red with flecks of black. The wall behind was a smooth translucent polished red stone with mesmerizing shapes moving within it. Pugno opened up a door at the back of the chamber were they entered and discovered a room full of zombies and skeletons – more than the light would illuminate. Meanwhile at the opposite end of the chamber, the far edge of the tapestry moved and 4 men in full plate came out from behind it. Afarrah and Tiffany both stared and started chanting hymns to Chaos.

Pugno closed the door but it was immediately opened by skeleton warriors. Unfortunately there was a second door to that room concealed behind tapestries and skeletons and zombies started entering from an unguarded corner. Shivs started turning undead and taking out those closest to him. Gary and Weiss retreated into the pews firing arrows as Pugno and the chanting Afarrah and Tiffany started taking hits from all the blows raining down on them. Tiffany managed to break out of the chanting and retreat.

Two of the armored men went down with Shivs next turn attempt so they were known to be zombies. Pugno was now nearly overwhelmed as he was surrounded. The others tried to pick off undead where they could but the battle was very lopsided until Afarrah close to death broke out of her trance and also began turning undead. The air was filled with bone dust and the sound of collapsing bodies. The two clerics quickly finished off the horde of 20 skeletons, 20 zombies, and the 4 zombies in plate mail.

They explored where the four armored zombies came from and found what appeared to be the priest’s richly appointed rooms. The took their time to search and were rewarded with goodies and a secret door that led back into the hallway. Gary was nearly killed when a trapped demonic statue fell on him but he survived and two more gems were added to the loot. Most importantly they found the Elixir of Stone to Flesh.

Since the room containing the 40 undead was barren they quickly returned to the site of the Priest’s defeat and the statues of Weiss and Shok. They poured some of the elixir on Weiss and she returned to flesh. They did the same with Shok and estimated there were 4 doses left. After reviving he snake which returned to staff form, they again encountered the medusa. One of the party was quickly turned to stone again (who?). The medusa had decided to make this her new lair and wanted them out. She also wanted a cut of some of the loot. There was some arguing but in the end they paid her a healthy share of the loot and she moved off to explore the rest of her new home. They descended the stairs to check out the remaining barred door below.

That door led into a crypt and they turned around rather than explore it. After locking it they decided to lay a trap for the medusa here and took a dressing mirror from one of the rooms and positioned it around the corner in the hopes that the medusa would turn herself to stone. The didn’t find much else down this way so it was time to leave this evil place and return to looking for the Minotaur Caves.

The consensus was that they were too beaten up to continue at the moment. So when they exited the cave Shivs led them back overland back to the keep so they could rest for the night. Along the way Shivs led them into the path of another medusa. Two of the party were turned to stone before it was talked into leaving. She was looking for another medusa and they told her about the one the found in the temple. Luckily the last 2 doses of the elixir were carried by a fleshy Pugno that was able to use the last of it to fix the two others. Hopefully there would be no more medusas.

At the keep they took care of all their town chores and sold/converted a lot of the group spoils. Pugno spent some insane amounts of money on some healing magic and they all rested up in the inn. The next morning they didn’t linger and they returned immediately to their task.

Back at the Caves of Chaos they had a false start exploring some other cave entrances before realizing that the Minotaur Caves happened to be the cave entrance that Afarrah had randomly (or perhaps divinely inspired) picked out at the start. The cave was natural and filled with twisted passages that were difficult to navigate. They were almost immediately attacked by a flock of stirges but they were quickly dealt with. Poor Gary received the worst of it. That fight brought a minotaur though.

The minotaur wore a tattered chain shirt and carried a spear. It roared and attacked. Everyone began positioning themselves and Weiss and Gary began sneaking around for a backstab. The minotaur was soon joined by another. Neither was a match for the full party and Weiss did get a backstab on the first one. The chain clad minotaur went down then the second one. They even found the minotaur’s loot behind a huge stone that needed 3 of them to move. The treasure was nice but they were still looking for a way home.

The group wandered and wandered for an unknown amount of time. The labyrinth was very disorienting. Eventually they descended a silty sloping passage where they could hear snatches of conversation. It was coming from a waterlogged passage that connected to a large cavern that had some running water and the dim glow of a light. The passage they had been following ended is a tall vertical shaft clearly carved by falling water. They cautiously entered the cold water and waded through the passage into a waist high lake. On the opposite side was a small beach and a passage leading up and away. The light source had moved further up that passage.

One last obstacle remained. Just before the beach was a fast moving flow of water near the outflow of the lake. They roped up and plunged ahead. They almost made it without incident. Someone (Weiss?) lost their footing and instead of catching him both Afarrah and Tiffany were also pulled off their feet. Then Gary in the rear was yanked downstream toward the rapids. Shokkanaw made the save of a lifetime and planted himself firmly on the shore and held them all in place.

Basic/Expert D&D XP: 2248 + any Prime Requisite bonus

As they were getting their feet back under them a shadowy minotaur showed up to see what the noise was. At this time they also noticed that they had crossed back into their familiar universe (back to Pathfinder rules from DnD Basic). They began moving onto the beach and slashing at the rope that held them together. An even larger minotaur wearing a silver dragonscale breastplate stepped up in front of the first minotaur and roared, severely intimidating (2x normal penalties) Maestro Pugno. Then the bullman gave the armor clad monk a wicked chop from his ax. The battle began in earnest.

The leader tried to bull rush Pugno and Shok but couldn’t. The first minotaur moved up to the front lines and two more shadow minotaurs arrived. The armored minotaur remained hard to hit but was kept at bay by Pugno and Shokkanaw. The others concentrated on killing the weaker unarmored mnotaurs which proceeded steadily. Even Gary landed several arrows and Shivs blinded one with Continual Light. With the lesser beasts down the armored minotaur was killed before he could deal killing blows to Pugno and Shok.

Pathfinder XP: 1,000


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